Know Your Worth
When is the last time you checked your social media? As you scrolled through the highlights of your friends or those you follow, did you feel yourself making comparisons? She has so many more followers than I do… They always look so confident and happy... And him, well, he just has it all – job, partner, house... Of course, we know that everyone else’s life is not as it appears on social media. Most of the time what we see are the shiny highlights that project the best (and sometimes false) version of people’s lives. (You already knew that, but sometimes it’s hard to remember when we are 2 hours deep into our scroll). The thing is, even when someone posts something that is intended to be uplifting or encouraging, we sometimes feel deflated instead of inspired. Why is that?
Have you heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy”? We may not even realize we are in comparison mode, but many times we are. And comparisons almost always make us feel bad, not necessarily because we believe everything we see and read. No, we feel bad because we create a story about ourselves based on someone else’s highlights. Something like: Why is it so easy for them and so hard for me? How do they have time to have fun when I’m swamped with work? How is it that they are celebrating their 5th anniversary when I can’t even find a partner? I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to do to succeed, yet I keep falling short. And the list goes on.
So, how do we stop the endless loop of measuring ourselves against other people? We embrace our own worth. We remind ourselves over and over again that we are on our own unique path. And we tell ourselves every day that we are enough, just as we are with all of our imperfections.
That may sound like a hard ask, especially if we have allowed our inner critic to dominate our thoughts. Here are some tips to quiet that judgy voice and embrace your own worthiness:
- Daily Self-Acknowledgment. Every day write something down that you have done or said that you are proud of.
- Express Gratitude. Keep a daily gratitude list. Writing even one thing you are grateful for every day helps you to appreciate what is already in your life. Plus, expressing gratitude makes us happier.
- Compliment Others. Next time you’re tempted to compare yourself to someone, compliment them instead. Even if you’re on social media, compliment them out loud. That will help you get out of the negative cycle of comparisons and over time, it may help you to view other people’s successes more positively.
- Be Compassionate with Yourself. No one is perfect. You will make mistakes, possibly often. Acknowledge your mistakes, respond to them appropriately (by asking for forgiveness, forgiving yourself, cleaning up the mess, etc.), and treat yourself as you would treat someone you love and treasure. Would you make them feel bad about what happened and constantly remind them of it? Would you call them names and emotionally beat them up? Probably not. Don’t do it to yourself either.
- Focus on Self-Improvement. What can you do to be a better person today? Do that.