The Winding Journey to Self-Discovery

I like to think of self-discovery as a lifelong process. It's a journey through which we tap into our needs, desires, potential, values, and purposes. Since this journey is lifelong, we can expect our exploration to take different shapes over time. I've also found that the self-discovery journey is not linear. Although I discuss the stages in a linear form, I've experienced moving back and forth between phases during my journey. I've also been in alignment in certain areas of my life while simultaneously actively seeking in other areas. Life is not linear, so why should my journey be?

I often say that awareness is the first step in our journey. But I have found that we sometimes experience a phase before awareness. I call that the Survival phase. You may have experienced an emotional state where the best you could do was to put one foot in front of the other, hoping that your foot lands on solid ground. I've been there.

After I've been able to climb out of the survival phase (through self-care, love and support from my community, therapy, and other tools) I find that I can awaken to the Awareness & Curiosity phase. In that phase I find myself curious and self-reflective about my emotions, needs, behaviors, patterns, and desires. The tools I often use in this phase are journaling, praying for guidance, meditation, gentle yoga, breathing exercises, and talking to trusted friends and family.

As I gain clarity about myself or a particular issue, I move into the Actively Seeking phase. That's where I devour books and courses that seem to pop up at just the right time and I tend to meet people who help me gain clarity (as the saying goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"). During this phase I often feel an energy shift upward and outward. My self-care practices often expand to include intuitive writing, creating vision boards, more active yoga sequences, longer and sometimes more intensive breathing and meditation sessions.

One of my favorite phases is Trial & Error. I often say that we live by trial and error, and it's true! For a long period in my life I longed for certainty. I experienced the unexpectedness of life as an inconvenience and a threat. Not until after a lot (meaning years) of self-reflection, seeking, praying, and trusting did I begin to honor the mysteries and surprises of life and the future. When I'm in the trial & error phase I'm grounded enough to know that my mistakes and failures are my greatest teachers. I stop running from the discomfort of the very things that will help me grow. I embrace the power of forgiveness and being forgiven. I actively shed limiting beliefs and behaviors that stem from underlying fears. And I get a clearer picture of how the life I am living is, or is not, in alignment with who I say I am and the values I want to embody. In addition to the other self-care practices I have mentioned, when I'm actively in trial & error I like to read and view inspiring stories of people who have overcome challenges.

What does it mean to Live in Alignment? For me it means that I am consistently showing up in the world in a way that embodies my authentic self, my values, and my purpose. It means being honest and compassionate with myself and others. It means maintaining healthy boundaries that honor myself and my relationships. It means being a gracious giver and receiver. It means trusting my intuition and the wisdom I've gained through my lived experiences. It means honoring the interconnectedness of my life with all living things. It means leading with love and grace.

It means knowing that when I make mistakes, when I fail, when I am unkind, when I self-sabotage, and when I am not true to myself and my beliefs - even then, I am enough and I am worthy.

I find it necessary to pull out all of my tools to live in alignment! In addition to what I've mentioned, I regularly practice energy therapies such as Reiki, EFT (Tapping), and grounding and I get massage and acupuncture treatments.

It's worth repeating that self-discovery is not linear and these phases are not mutually exclusive. You may feel like you're moving backwards, taking long detours, or standing still. That's okay. It's part of the journey.

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If you are curious about any of the self-care practices I've mentioned or are seeking guidance in your journey Schedule a free Discovery call with me.